It's been a while since I have posted anything. After the last few weeks, and a new perspective, I feel I would share.
I'm going to warn you, I probably won't use correct punctuation, or be 100% correct with following grammar rules and such. So, if this kind of thing drives you nuts.....you might want to skip this post, as I have 5 kiddos, which includes 1 newly walking toddler, along with a impish 2 year old. Chances are at some point and most likely several times in writing this post I will have to go rescue someone or something from the little ones :)
I was talking to a friend today, the last few weeks I have been incredibly frustrated with the lack of cooperation from the kids in certain things. They don't seem to be terribly motivated in cleaning their room, or finishing the last few things for school. Yes, I said for school. We are still working on some of our school stuff from this past year. We decided to take the month of December off, so we could prepare and enjoy the birth of Jesus as we should, and in the right spirit. We also took 3 weeks of over Easter for the same reason. That is one of the many joys of homeschooling, it is very flexible, and we can decide when we are going to take our "breaks" or "vacations".
Sorry, I tend to get side tracked sometimes, okay... a lot! I have been having a hard time getting the kids motivated to do their work. I'm frustrated with our house, and things constantly breaking (I know, it's a nearly 100 year old home, what do we expect?). The problem is, it isn't just one minor thing here or there that breaks. It's SEVERAL minor things or something major that needs repaired or replaced. We would LOVE to move, but that isn't financially feasible right now. The market in our area is still struggling, and there are bunch of homes that have been for sale, for the longest time.
What does all of this have to do with anything, you ask? Well, I'm going to get to that. If you know me at all, you know I am NOT a person who is a constant victim. I'm more the pull yourself up by the boot strings and kick butt, take names later, type person. I am not one prone to depression, or feeling sorry for myself. I do however get overwhelmed and incredibly frustrated when I am trying to put out so many fires. Such as keeping up with the house when 6 of us are home all the time. It's a struggle, I'm not going to lie. The house is NEVER perfectly clean, it's usually cluttered, and most days has plenty of toys on the floor, sometimes even piles of laundry.....gasp!
In expressing my feelings of frustration to a friend. This friend pointed out, this is exactly what the devil wants!!! He WANTS me to give up!!! He WANTS me frustrated and overwhelmed. IF I dwell on and pay attention to these feelings, he wins!! Plain and simple. He doesn't want our kids to have a good faith based education, he doesn't want our kids to be obedient to us. I know this, I really do. Sometimes, however when you are knee deep in the chaos, and you're not sure where to turn, or how to motivate your children to do what they should, he sneaks in....he plants the seed of doubt. It's so subtle you don't see it.
Thankfully, I have good friends who are there to remind us, we ARE doing what is right, we ARE doing as we should as a family of faith, and it is driving the devil NUTS!!! He is going to do everything in his power to stop us, because that is 5 more souls he doesn't have to fight for, or worse...fight against. He doesn't want our children to be children of faith. He doesn't want them to have strong work ethics, or a good moral code.
This friend I talked to, reassured me, we ARE doing what is right, even if society doesn't think so. Raising "your" children to have faith. To realize it isn't all about them, or centered around them, is tough. To raise kids now, you have to fight material possessions, horribly immodest fashions, and a whole host of other "issues" out there. For the most part we live pretty simply. We don't have cable T.V., we choose Netflix instead (which we still have to monitor). We don't watch a lot of regular T.V. even, there are too many "T.V. shows" that are not family friendly. So, yes, we are that weird family. We don't go along with what is considered "normal". We don't put up with "normal teenager" behavior out of our older two kids. We will not put up with them being disrespectful, to anyone. We don't put up with "attitude" or "sass" from our kids. They do hear "no" and they hear it a lot! No, it isn't a popular answer, and yes, there are times tears are involved. Mostly, they understand our reasons for saying "no", even if they don't agree with us.
I have found myself falling for his lies. Getting frustrated and yelling at the kids, or giving intense lectures because of their lack of cooperation. I did so just today. I went into the bathroom, found a towel on the door knob instead of being hung up on the towel rack. I got mad and "yelled" at them " I am tired of the laziness!!" I forget the devil doesn't want me to succeed, he also doesn't want the kids to succeed either. I plan on talking with the kids tonight, and bring this up. Please, don't get me wrong, we have amazing kids. The have such sweet and giving hearts. Usually they will do just about anything for someone who they know is struggling. Even if it means just giving that person a hug. Our kids love with all of their hearts, they do their best to live their faith.
This past weekend, I was having a conversation with someone, we were talking about faith, and some of the struggles we have made it though. One of them being loosing Catherine. This person said something to me: " You seem to lean on your faith a lot, can you imagine where you would be if you didn't have your faith?" That comment along with the conversation I had today, has made me realize, how important our faith is to us. It doesn't seem like it sometimes, and boy are there times when I want to give up, but something pushes me to keep going, or to try just one .....more..... time...... . While there are times, I agree it would be SO much easier to put our kids back in school, and go back to work. That isn't where I can do the most good. Here at home is where I belong, with these 5 amazing kids. It's not easy, but it is so very worth it. Every minute, every struggle, and sometimes every tear. The trade off is the hugs, kisses, giggles, and yes, sometimes the craziness too.
I was told by my friend today I needed to read about St. John Vianney, and all the things he went through.
In Libby's religion book it says " God knows we are weak, and that there is a constant struggle, but we must persevere and keep up the struggle! St. Peter wrote in his letters to the people in the different churches that life is like a race. We need to keep running, keep jumping over the hurdles or obstacles. We need to persevere and keep at it. The prize is eternal life." Wise words for sure. Ones I need to remember a little more often!
Blessings and love to all :)
